Heart's Wish
by Moontan
Summary: Trying something a little different here; it's a little bit of self-mockery. First person view. Intended to be a one-shot stand alone and not meant to have a 'happy' ending. But some of you may enjoy this piece and see what I tried to accomplish with it. (Reviews/Critiques encouraged/welcome.) I change the name from the original title: Do Not Dream.


"You should have listened to your Disney," a voice said softly near my ear. Instantly my heart felt like it had leapt into my throat. Firstly, it should have been impossible for anyone to be that close without me seeing them. I was alone, in my room, facing the doorway. Secondly, I would know that voice anywhere, and it definitely didn't belong here. In fact, I would have sworn it was also impossible.

I turned my head to the left, and sure enough, there he was. Standing tall and proud, clothed in red, eyes shielded behind orange glasses, and right in my room. A thousand and one things flashed through my mind, things I might say or do, but none of them seemed adequate. What does one do when the impossible was staring you in the face? At least, I assumed it was staring me in the face; it was hard to tell from behind those thick, round glasses. I knew behind them the eyes would be red, but this didn't help me discern what might be going through his mind. Then again, knowing what I knew, I wasn't sure I wanted to know what was going on in there.

"What do you mean?" I finally managed to say, my voice sounding painfully small in my own ears. He gave me a thin-lipped smile. I wish I had thought of something intelligent to say, but my wits seemed to have abandoned me.

"There's a song you know. Something about dreams and wishes," he said. Leaning over me he pressed a single finger to my chest. "You've been betrayed by your own heart." There was no threat to his words, yet his voice was menacing. I knew he was dangerous. Either that or I was simply going mad.

"But why are you here?" I wanted to know.

"Desire is a dangerous thing, especially when you want something that is not good for you." My knees grew weak, and it was just as well I was sitting or it was more than likely I would have fallen. What was he going to do? "Poor little girl wanted more than she could handle," he said, his tone a mockery of pity. In his white face there was nothing that indicated compassion and many things that meant ill intent. It wasn't malice exactly. More like...hunger. "Yes, you are right to be afraid." I felt one of his hands grasp my neck, fingertips resting against my pulse. "Your human heart, it flutters, so delicate," he lowered his voice to almost a whisper, "so delicious." I heard him inhale deeply and I nearly screamed.

"How?" it was all I seemed able to get out. He didn't seem interested in my question. Perhaps he didn't even hear it. While the one hand stayed on my neck, his other arm lifted me up towards him, holding me there with my back to his chest. From beneath the fabric of my clothing I could feel his coldness, the strength of his arms, and a sense of the sheer power emanating from him.

"Foolish child. You should have been content with your normal life. You are so blind you couldn't even see the darkness for what it was. And so you wasted your heart on something that would never give you anything back." He placed me on top of my desk, bringing me at a more even level with him, but he never let go. I was sure even my best effort would not be able to even budge the arm he used to hold me. "A heart is a terrible thing to waste; I know a much better use for it."

If I had ever thought I knew the meaning of pain before, I was sure I knew it now. Sharp pain burned along the side of my neck as his fangs pierced the skin there. For a moment I was beyond reason, and I thrashed, trying to escape the pain. It was useless, but I couldn't keep myself still.

"_By all means, keep fighting. Your blood will just pump into me that much faster_." The voice was in my head this time, and it was even more beautiful and menacing than before. I forced myself to stay still, though I shut my eyes against the tears that were building up. A few trickled down my cheek. And I could hear my heart beating. The sound seemed so much more sinister now that it wasn't simply making its rounds through my body. Instead it was pouring out of me and into the vampire that held me. There was something mesmerizing about it, about the rumble of pleasure I could hear from behind me. A warm tingle spread throughout my body, and for a few moments it felt like I was somewhere warm and safe. But my mind screamed against this; there was nothing safe about what was happening.

"And now you see." He had resumed speaking out loud. Carelessly he spun me around so I was facing him. He had removed his glasses, and now I could see the deep red of his eyes. "There are heroes in life, and there are villains. It is not wise to mistake the two." I cried out softly. My body felt so weak, but part of it was still calling for more. "Now your body has betrayed you as well." From half lidded eyes I stared at him. Something seemed wrong. I had thought he was picture-perfect of all my expectations. From the hat on his head to the grey suit he wore, to the features of his face. But there was one glaring detail that was off and it was something I should have realized at first.

"No," I moaned, shaking my head. His gloves were pure white without a single mark on them. My fear increased and this only made him smile, showing all his teeth.

"Here there is no Hellsing family, so here I am bound to no one." He moved so that his eyes were level with mine. "You can congratulate yourself on bringing me to a world where I have no boundaries. Thanks to you, every being here will be a vessel to bring to my lips. And this world is full of empty hearts, hungry hearts that will open themselves to me, just as yours did."

"I never meant it this way," I whispered, trembling.

"Did you not?" He straightened himself to his full height. "What else did you expect from a vampire, especially one that had been under a leash for over a century? The world was much safer with me as a fantasy, a dream, a handful of pigments." He flung his arm outwards towards the window. "As a reality, your admiration will turn to hate; it has already turned to fear."

I don't know what I thought I could do to him, but I tried to move towards him. I had lost too much blood though, and I fell forward, whimpering as I crashed to the floor. I wished I could wake up from this, or that it was still something that could be woken up from. But I hurt too much to believe it was still a dream. My eyes filled completely with tears as I looked up at the now blurred red form.

"Alucard..."


End file.
